i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
Randomize
