Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
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