Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
He literally asked permission to hit on me
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
Randomize
