Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
i just woke up to that girl in my doorway. I kid you not. Tan and lime green thong on. peeing on the carpet in the hallway. Then she collapsed. There is a load of towels in the wash. Just thought you should know when you wake up. Gross.
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
Randomize
