love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
Randomize
