my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
