i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
Randomize
