I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
Dick very happy bro
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
Randomize
