It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
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