only if we run a train.
done.
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
Randomize
