Three words: puerto rican gang bang
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
Randomize
