Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
Randomize
