i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
Randomize
