I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
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