I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
Randomize
