i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
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