Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
they need to just BURY HIM!
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
Get my husband this drunk again I will rip off your balls off with my bare hands and then cut them up with a dirty axe like fish bits. Do you understand me? DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME?! See you at breakfast, FUCK FACE. I'll shove that bottle of Jamison so far up your ass you'll still be praying in 2020 you can take a shit! Seriously, you make it hard to be your best friend.
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
Randomize
