Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
Randomize
