Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
Randomize
