I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
I touched a dick in church today
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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