i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Randomize
