wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Randomize
