Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
