She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Randomize
