Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
You may now shotgun with the bride
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
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