you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
that may or may not have been my penis.
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
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