went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
I think we might need a safe word for this...
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
Randomize
