Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
Randomize
