I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
Randomize
