Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
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