we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
Randomize
