I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
