I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
Randomize
