2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
I just cut my nipple shaving
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
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