I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
Randomize
