why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
Seriously, I was a high class hooker. I was snorting shit Rachel, white powder, lines formed with credit cards, the dudes house was beautiful. Magnum condom. Adorable puppy dog. Pretty sure at some point I was sleeping on a washing machine. Boxing Gloves.
Those were the highlights of my night.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
Randomize
