yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
Randomize
