OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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