this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
Omg I joined a choir last night...
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
