Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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