It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
splinters make it hard to masturbate
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
Randomize
