Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
Randomize
