Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
Randomize
