oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
Randomize
