I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
Randomize
