The maid of honor just puked.
I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
Randomize
