well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
Randomize
