Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
Randomize
