Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
Randomize
