Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
Randomize
