Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
Randomize
