i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
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