I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
