She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
Randomize
